My coming to this planet was nothing but an accident of birth. No one asked if I wanted to be a part of this family, this society, this country or even this mankind. Several ideas imposed, identities shoved down my throat. But no one showed the slightest interest in understanding who I was, although the presumption of who they wanted me to be was what characterised me to them.
It never took me long to realise I was different. I liked girls. On strict conventional notions, my society teaches me to form a liking towards men. Even if a liking exists, I should never express it openly. The reason being women are supposed to be coy, secretive and particularly introvert on matters relating to sexual context. But here I was, a nineteen year old girl, verbalizing to my near and dear ones that I was a homosexual, a lesbian.
My father thought that it was phase, that I was just being bi-curious and it will pass after a while and I would find my prince in sheath and sword. My mother felt the answer to my abnormality lied with the pundit. The rest of my family felt ostracizing me would give them a sense of relief from being associated with a freak. Some friends indeed supported while some found an excuse in me to find voyeuristic pleasures (girls making out with each other is hot, so they say!). People had begun identifying me primarily with my sexual orientation. The rest of the things were not important, they were not interesting enough!
People say we live in a democracy. Democracy, an institution that legitimises choice and liberty. We elect a school of thought to run the nation, and we constantly monitor it through our checks and balances mechanisms. But do we realise that it is only the majority that exercises this freedom of choice and liberty. If there are 10 people expressing their views, and 9 and out of those 10 share exactly the same mind set and point of views, the opinion of the last remaining person will be ignored, most probably. It is seldom that mankind has given due diligence to the notion of quality. Quality has always taken a backseat to quantity. The reason that the state gives me when it refuses to acknowledge my sexual preference is that the majority of the society does not accept it. Is my choice respected? No. Am I being given liberty in choosing my partner? No. Is my point of view given an ear to, let alone respected? No. What is the point in living in a democracy?
The human race has evolved because it has exhibited pragmatism at certain junctions. It is our ability to derive subjectivity out of the most trivial actions that differentiate us from the rest of the fauna. We are expected to look at issues in a more nuanced way. Suppressing the opinions of a minority, a sexual one in this instance is no decent way to take things forward. Giving them ambit to exercise their choice and instilling a rational outlook within the majority is what we expect our nation to do.
I am not a slut. I am not a freak. I don’t want to be “normal”. I just want to love a person for the rest of my life. The least I can expect is to be given this right.