Recall all the times you've lain on the couch, wrapped up in your favorite comforter, wearing the most disgusting (AND comfy) night-suit you own, digging into an ice cream tub (alternatively: large pack of nachos) and cried over how pathetic your love life is in comparison to Kajol's and SRK's in the Bollywood romantic epic of modern times, DDLJ.

(Note: this applies to guys as well, with slight modifications. Oh please, the pretence macho act fools no one.)

Excuse me for giving such an example, but what I want to get across is the fact, that even if your love life (or life, in general) seems pathetic and you seem to think of yourself as the 'forever alone' poster boy, that is NOT how it is.

Remember this, single readers. You don't ever need a person, a significant half to define you. It's sad how many people don't realise this. Why are you so persistent on chasing after someone, who does not marvel over the wonderful creature you are?

Now, you might find yourself thinking, "okay, great, but how on earth is this even remotely connected to relationships?"

The answer, dear reader, is that this issue addresses the most[word missing] relationship of all time. One that takes precedence over romance, friendship and family. This is to the relationship you have with yourself.

Girls, realise. You don't need to change yourself for some boy whose name you're not even going to remember in 10 years.

You don't need to hide behind the façade of a quintessentially girly girl, or alter yourself in any way. If you prefer hardcore science fiction and baggy jeans to romantic comedies and mini skirts, so be it! Don't shy away from painting the drab, monotonous canvas of life with your own unique pallet of colours!

I know you're incredibly insecure, and you may even consider yourself to be damaged to some extent.

Understand the fact that there IS someone, who is looking for your kind of damaged. No, I'm not giving you false hopes. Although it may seem impossible at this point, there ARE people who just don't care about beauty that is skin deep. The one thing you really need to wrap your mind around is that, no one will love you until you love yourself.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Now, on to the boys. This is for the nice ones. Yes, I'm talking about you, the one who considers himself the friendzone veteran. The one who lends her a shoulder when she's crying over that ex you never liked. The one who listens to her cribbing about how she JUST can't seem to ever find a 'nice guy'.

I'm aware that girls can be colossal jerks, and the ‘being friendzoned’ can seem like the single most horrible experience ever, BUT, the only way to get out of it, is to actually stand up for yourself for once, and be the jerk. No, I'm serious. It may seem cruel, but people only appreciate the value of things when they're gone. You have to have already known that. Let her, for once, realise that her pillar of support is not an emotional punching bag.

You, the quintessential sweet guy, who actually listens to girls and knows how to respect them, deserve someone who's ready to actually appreciate your brilliance, rather than some self absorbed person who's oblivious to your feelings or pretends to be.

On an ending note, just remember:
When in doubt, Swivel head, snap fingers in Z formation, and say, "I'm fabulous".

And with that, ladies and gentlemen, I conclude. Hope that you had half as much fun as I had writing it.

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