When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.Elizabeth Gilbert
Severe despondency and dejection accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.
It's a weird thing isn't it? Just one day you're happy- you're smiling, laughing, without a care in the world. And the next day, you're just...not wanting to get up and get out of the bed. Not seeing any "point" in it.
And if that's not problematic enough, no one seems to get it. People, just don't UNDERSTAND. Why not, you ask? Because they haven't ever been here. They haven't ever been in this position. This position, where everything seems meaningless. Relationships? Work? It's all useless. If every attempt of yours is just going to make things worse, if every time you try then the blame will end up on you, why should you even try? How does it even MATTER?
Let's go back a little and try to reason things out a bit. It's not that you were different when you were born. You had the same eyes, nose, ears, lips and every other part of the body. Neither was it the fact that the heart beat faster, nor did the brain decide to function in a super speed. So, why, do you wake up one day feeling different? Something happened.
Maybe your friends treated you differently for too long, maybe your family members just hated you (and you hated them), or maybe it was some different reason altogether. That's what triggers it, and everything else just seems to add on to it. The best friend not talking, the words not flowing and the deadline nearing,- the sun not shining! And lo and behold - what was once sadness, is now depression. Fully fledged, nerve wracking, unbearable. Depression. Some would attempt to stay away, others would say, "We all have bad days.". Well, what they don't understand, is that it's not a passing feeling.
It's not just a bad day for the soul reason that your hair didn't get straightened right or your mum shouted on you. It's not something small, it’s not something easy. It's hard to deal with, and it kills you at times. It makes you not want to wake up. The role of a nightmare and daylight is reversed. Your day becomes your nightmare, and your dreams - your only solace.
And in these dreams, you try to find peace. You try to find a way out of this incredible, unwanted feeling. You try to piece things together. To make sense of the puzzle. To find the missing pieces. And once you find these pieces, you start rearranging them.
In endless possible ways. When you rearrange one of them correctly, a spark ignites. You feel hopeful. You put in more effort, but it’s just that, this time, it’s so much more. This time, you have hope.
And with this hope, you begin to recover. First slowly, then suddenly. Things begin to make sense. And there's only going up from there.
Constant, eventual recovery. This, I promise you.